


That Is Not Optimal

by Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye)



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-12
Updated: 2007-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:57:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustaciavye/pseuds/Eustacia%20Vye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You see?" Mal told the others. "This is why I said there's no marryin' on my boat!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Is Not Optimal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mynuet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mynuet/gifts).



"That is not optimal," River said, pointing to the map on the kitchen table.

Jayne looked up from the map, jaw thrust out in annoyance. "Sure it is. We'll take 'em out no trouble. It'll work."

"No. This vantage point over here," River pointed to a different area on the map, "would be most beneficial for the kind of deal you wish to make."

"This one," Jayne said, pointing to his original spot, "is gonna work. It's perfect, and nobody's gonna think of that one."

"Anyone would think of it! It's obvious! It's easily seen! There will be no advantage and no surprise to take them unaware. This is not optimal and cannot be made so."

"Listen, moonbrain, just 'cause I married you don't mean you got to run my life."

Her mouth dropped open. "I'm trying to _help_ you!"

"You see?" Mal told the others. "This is why I said there's no marryin' on my boat!" Both of their mercenaries were standing now, toe to toe and screaming obscenities at each other in Mandarin. If it got to shoving or weaponry, Mal knew he would be short one muscular and intimidating looking merc.

"I will not allow one _chùsheng xai-jiao de xiang huo_ to even have an opportunity to dream of trying to shoot projectiles at you! You _niushi,_ how can I be a helpmeet if you will not allow me to help?"

"I don't need it!" Jayne roared. "I don't need protectin', I can plan just fine, and I don't need no worryin' from you! You stay here, you do your job, and I don't gotta worry 'bout nothing gettin' shot offa neither of you!"

River blinked, deflated. "Oh."

"What?" Jayne roared, not realizing that River was done arguing. "Oh. Um..."

"I had not realized you worried for me."

"Well, yeah... Someone's got to, right?" he replied, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I mean, what you said..."

She smiled at him beatifically. "We will both be fine right here, then. But really, my spot is better to defend from."

Mal was stunned by the sudden turnaround. It took him a beat to get it. "Wait a minute! We?!"

./.


End file.
